So last night my friend Misty and I took my son Luca and her daughter Hailey on a double date. Hailey and Luca have been friends since kindergarten and have had a love/hate relationship. We didn’t know what to expect for the evening.

We took them to dinner then to Cirque Du Soleil. They were so cute – he was acting aloof and she was trying to do the same. They ate pizza, played his 3 DS. When we were in our seats at the show, Misty nudged me and said “Look, they are holding hands!”

I was tempted to pull them apart, but I just took a deep breath and thought ok, they are 10, what exactly does this mean? They have a fondness, an innocent like for one another. Does this mean I should watch out, keep them away from each other or just let the joy of discovery of love take its course?

This is all new for me and I want to be appropriate, so this morning I said, “Luca, I saw you hold her hand – does this mean you like her?” I told him how nice it it that they get along so well, and that all these years they have been friends. Then I said “OK, but no making out!”

We chuckled and he smiled at me then I kissed him on the lips – a mother’s sweet love nugget kiss, the kind I will cherish until the day those lips are not exclusively mine.

-Karen

It’s been a while since my last post! Everything is twice as crazy right now because I have TWO huge milestones in the works.

The first is a game-changer: WeVillage’s second location! We’ve signed the lease and started on construction. You know how you have a dream about what a space will look like? And then you slog through red tape, permits, wrong info, designers, contractors…until you’re ready to just throw some rugs and toys down and open the doors! But no, we’re doing this the right way and it’s going to be amazing.

Speaking of amazing, my son Luca turns 10 years old tomorrow! That’s the second big milestone in my life right now, and I can’t believe it. It feels like yesterday he was in his Baby Bjorn hanging with me as I was conquering Hollywood. I had all the latest baby gear and accessories, but unlike the other mommies who had husbands at home, it was just me and Luca and our cat.

I knew it was up to me to raise this baby into a kind, open-hearted, respectful boy with values. I wanted him to know he could do anything, be anything, and always have my arms to run into when he felt unsure, scared or lonely.

Being Luca’s mom has been an honor and I would not have changed it for anything! I love you, Luca. You made me into the woman I am. You and me, kid!

Parental reality for the “Millennium Parents”

Face it, responsibilities for today’s parents are nothing like they were in the past. Caring for just the basics (food, shelter, love, stability) will no longer cut it. We have turned into SUPER parents!

I feel that life is throwing too many pressures on us as parents. We are now to be SUPER parents. For example: participating in multiple sport teams, supervising of the Internet (quite the feat!), accelerated reading…the list of new roles we parents must play continue to grow ever longer. And I am as guilty as anyone else as I too partake in this hyper-parental world.

While everyone grows up differently, it’s safe to assume that while our own parents would definitely show up to a game or two, they were never expected to show up to practice. (It’s more common now than you think!) If I had asked my parents to attend every game and practice in the 1970s, I am sure they would have a big laugh. Attending a few games was already a big deal to my parents since their own parents (my grandparents) only attended select events such as graduation or a Christmas play.

Back in the day (I can’t believe how often I say this phrase now) there was only one league for each sport which was put on by the local school. I currently have my son Luca in several different outdoor soccer leagues plus Kung Fu. When Luca was just a toddler, there was mommy yoga, baby gymnastics, music and dance classes. No matter the age, the commitments are huge.

If you had asked me about foreign languages when I was in grade school, my likely reply would be “there are other languages?!” Luca is already learning Spanish at an age years away from high school. What’s worse is that I sometimes feel pressured to enroll him in more! Should I fee bad that Luca only knows a few words in Spanish when he could be learning Chinese for future business or French so he can travel abroad? Remember that Luca is a fourth grader.

Then of course there is added stresses on the our own side as well. We try and look ten years younger than our real age. “What type of Yoga do you do?” “Have you tried the new vegan challenge?” “How many nights were you able to go out with the girls this week?” You get the point. Being an urban parent can be a challenge for sure and Facebook does not help.

With these new challanges in parenting we have to adapt and stay true to our parental instincts. We need to stop worrying about how we are parenting compared to others. Whether a stay-at-home mom or busy business executive, we ALL are putting too much pressure on ourselves.

I have to continuously work on not putting too much pressure on myself. I like my alone time, I like to relax, I like to work out, I don’t need to be at every single one of Luca’s practice/tournament/soccer games, and I am not going to feel bad about that. I refuse to keep on comparing myself to other parents. The reason? I know I am a much better, more understanding and lovable parent when I quit comparing and do what I know best. Let’s trust ourselves more. We really do know whats best! I promise.

Karen

People often ask where I came up with the idea of WeVillage. They ask, “How did you go from a Hollywood producer to owning WeVillage in the Pearl?” Before I had my son Luca, I was on the fast track in the film industry as a successful producer and was working with big-name celebrities making a name for myself. I thought this fast paced world was the life-style I wanted until I had my son. I then discovered what was truly important to me.

When I returned to work from maternity leave, I worried about Luca’s well-being and how he was being taken care of. I was uncomfortable with the old-school services, dated philosophies and lack of cleanliness that current daycare centers provided. And what good businesses today close at 5:00 p.m.? I needed the flexibility and availability that matched my busy and often unpredictable work schedule. One morning I was offered a fairly large film project by a director and needed to start work that very day. Luca was too young for preschool so I called all my friends and family without any luck. I was faced with a decision to take my son to a dirty unfit daycare center or lose my job. I chose my son and the producers not surprisingly passed up my services.

This was the moment that I was inspired to create something for mothers who felt like me. I wanted the quality of full-time preschools with the flexibility of drop-and-go childcare. I needed a place where I could drop my son off day or night, for as long (or short) as I wanted, without sacrificing quality.

Receiving the opportunity to move to Portland, Oregon, I realized this could be the perfect chance to start my business idea–WeVillage. I knew the Pearl would be the perfect location from the very moment I first visited the neighborhood. Children playing in the fountain at Jamison Square Park, urban families enjoying a food scene that rivals any big city and great amenities for both children and parents were what sold me on this part of Portland. Future WeVillage locations will follow this model of being located in thriving neighborhoods.

I built WeVillage on the promise of quality childcare for today’s urban parent. I wanted to focus on the joy of children socializing and the wonders of new friendships. I love introducing kids to new forms of education like yoga, healthy food and different cultures from around the world. I stress the importance of parents taking much needed ME time. WeVillage has become a trusted place where parents feel at ease dropping their kids off — day or night, two hours or all day.

Parents today are different from their baby boomer parents. We have different work schedules, seek healthy food for our children (when we can), love the occasional coffee break with friends, practice yoga and have an all new set of challenges. Kids are busier than ever and parents struggle to keep up. My answer to creating value in this new paradigm was WeVillage, a forward thinking playcare facility for today’s modern family.

- Karen Benanati